Character Tests

Your personality and talent can open doors for you but only character can keep the doors open for you. You can find out a lot about a person by who their friends are. "You are who you hang around."

Tests continue throughout our life just like in school to go to the next grade, the next educational year. So it is in life, that is why people feel stuck in life. What test have I not passed? Why am I not where I thought I would be at this point in my life? The life you are living, there are Character tests. The reason you are not there yet is because you have not passed the character test that God has put upon you. The test of character is the most crucial because this is the test that God has destined you TO BE. The person you ARE to become. The bigger your dream, the bigger the character test. "Character" a Greek word that was a mark impressed upon a coin. Think of the mark upon a coin then think about the word character. The mark is what determines the value. The result of character is the mark or impression of what we make upon the lives of others. What kind of mark are you leaving?

To see a man's true nature, give him complete unadulterated power to think, judge and execute another human being. Character is much easier kept than recovered.

Examine and test and evaluate your own selves to see whether you are holding to your faith and showing the proper fruit of life. Test and prove yourself.

We are in a continuous test in our life. Godspeed

One Day at a Time...

is how I live. One Person at a Time is how God works through me. I have been asked many occasions why I write a blog and why. When I found Recovery I asked God to use me to share my experience, strength and hope because I did not know how to. Some find it shameful to admit to having addiction problems and I did at first... Realizing it was truly a miracle to have made it through the depths, darkness of addiction and the brink of death; then building my relationship with my Higher Power, God, I was not ashamed of my past addictions and My Recovery.

The emails, conversations, phone calls I receive from others lets me know that God is working through me to help others about addiction; whether that be of their family, their selves or just out of curiosity.

"Bill W. and Dr. Bob Started A.A. ... Bill W. was one of those men. ... in Akron, the two men began helping alcoholics one person at a time." The Founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, About.com

God can use you for what you fight for, what you are passionate about. I look at my friend, Kevin, and am amazed at how God is working through him in his ministries in Haiti. It is a miracle to see the transformation that Kevin has gone through and now changing One Person at a Time through his mission work with children in Haiti.

Teaching the poverty stricken that they are loved by Jesus and teaching them how to pray. This is Kevin's passion, what he is fighting for. His mission work touches me and works through me, it makes me want to be a better person and again reminds me how fortunate I am. I am thankful for my sobriety, my relationship with God, the food, shelter, job, family, friends that I have. Five years ago I could not have put any of this in words because I was too self-centered, in active addiction and took everything I had for granted.

I am the happiest I have ever been and thank God every morning and every night for my sobriety. One Day at a Time. Godspeed.

Dreams...

are the inner theatre of the mind. The place where we hope for things.

I believe Dreams that become a force are birthed by a God Encounter. God has been on my heart for many dreams recently, some of my own and some of others. Just think when God spoke to Noah about the Ark, when God spoke to Mary about giving birth to Jesus Christ.

Dreams that become a force can also be birthed out of something I love. What do you love? I love advertising and helping others, giving back what I have been given. Writing this blog is a way I can give back to others with addictions. To show we share a common bond. My addiction is now our common bond.

Today I choose to live happy, joyous and free. When I do I can be of help to the still suffering addict because they can see and feel there is hope. I was not always like this.

What do you like to talk about? What do you like to do?

What do you love to do that matters to you and that matters to others?

Dreams...are also birthed out of something that angers you, something that has hurt you emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. i.e. Martin Luther King, M.A.D.D. - Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Dreams...also birthed out of something that ignites compassion. Tears. Whatever you weep over, God can give you a passion about that. Compassion putting you into action. What causes you to weep? Your tears have enough power to conquer your Dreams...birthed out of discontentment. I would love to have a halfway house for women who have been abused and/or with addiction problems.

You notice things that no one else notices. You notice it because it is what your calling is.

When you radically obey God, blessings fall on your life. Until some people exit your life you may never hear God.

If you cannot see it you cannot experience it. Dreamers don't just see, they see what could be.

Take a walk. Go...move...take a dream walk. I am. Godspeed.

We Just Try

Try and make it Day to Day, sometimes hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute...We Just Try.

If some of us only just tried. I now know friends that are trying and some that aren't. Some that have failed and began again. And then I know some that gave up trying and are dead. It is a continuous process. That is why we say we are in Recovery. If you were diagnosed with cancer, you would take every step and medication the doctor had advised to be in Recovery. We are the same way. The disease of Addiction. We have a process to follow and if we don't, most of us fall out of Recovery and eventually die. Just the same for cancer patients. If you do not follow the doctors orders, you will not begin the process of Recovery and will eventually die.

Those of use from Enterprise, Al. has lost a beautiful lady to cancer, Vicky Milam Harris that graduated from with me from Enterprise High School in 1992. She left behind a loving husband, Richard Harris and her son, Ritchey Harris, and of course her close friends and family. It has been only four days and when I pray for her and her family I could feel her presence and that beautiful smile of positive energy that she radiated...I posted this almost a year ago and the first comment is from Vicky about her Cancer. Listen to her words and her positive outlook on life. For some of us are not that fortunate. She turned her disease into a blessing to let others see that no matter what she had, she would live life Happy, Joyous and Free.

Donations are to the American Cancer Society- c/o Linda Andress PO Box 310900. Enterprise 36331.

I had it minute to minute Friday. My demons were all around me and it didn't matter what I did they wanted me down. This past week was joyous and filled with blessings from God. I was in constant contact with him every day, all day. And Friday it was though I was surrounded by a dark cloud and couldn't get away from it no matter how hard I prayed.

I know God gives us tests, test our strength. I don't hate many things but I do hate addiction. I hate how it is like a snake and sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Trying to suffocate the good and the blessing filled journey God has taken you down.

I hate being an addict. It makes me feel like such an outsider at times. Not able to go here or there or hang out at places because I do not know my limits or limitations in a new place and new people. I have been made fun of because I stay at home a lot...but I know what can happen in these four walls I sit in. Nothing. Nothing to risk my sobriety and my life. Being made fun of makes me feel like I am back in junior high and being picked on. Recovery is not easy all of the time. But it has been the best days of my life and some of the hardest ones ever. I would take this life over the life I lived in addiction, any day. Even days like Friday.

Walk a day in my shoes, a week, a month before you mock. All I can do is try, and I do. All day every day. Some days I have failed and some days I haven't. I just keep on trying. Godspeed.

30 days...

is a big accomplishment in the world of addiction. 30 days sober. I have a friend that recently celebrated their 30 days. What is even tougher is that they did it by themselves, without the help of a treatment center. My many treatment centers kept me sober for the time I was there because we were not in "the real world", i.e. around our past life, confinement. Much like the movie "28 Days" with Sandra Bullock. For her character the path to recovery will not be easy and success will not be guaranteed or even likely, but she is now willing to give it a try.

That is all it takes is willingness to try and turn your will and your way over to your Higher Power. I have been treading down the road of Recovery now for almost four years, and it has been easy at times, and also tough at times. Just last week it was a tough week for me. The disease wanting to take over to sneak a drink...even after this long. I had to pray it away, over and over. And I am in constant contact with God several times a day. So, to say it gets easier, yes...do you have your struggles, yes. I still do today, but I wake up every morning and thank God for keeping me sober today and when I lay my head down at night I thank God for keeping me sober that day. Every day. Not one day missed. The constant contact with God keeps me sober. I have tried other methods and they don't work for me. I ask God to embed Humility in me each day so that the disease does not sneak it's way back in, i.e. My Demons.

A disease that only can be cured by turning your will and your way over to a Higher Power. It works, but you have to work at it...for the rest of your life. And that is okay with me, for I do not want to go back from where I came from. Godspeed

Cinderella Man

The true story of an athlete who achieved his greatest success against the most daunting odds of his life is brought to the screen in this historical drama.

While conventional wisdom had it that Braddock was too old, out of shape, and out of practice to have any chance of winning, he defeated Griffin, and continued beating his opponents with a powerful left hook that had been intensified by years of punishing dock work. In a nation desperate for good news, Braddock's surprising comeback became a tonic to struggling workers and unemployed people, and all eyes were on Braddock when in 1935 he took on powerful heavyweight champion Max Baer in what was both literally and figuratively the fight of his life. ~ Mark Deming

Quite a sensational film, Braddock being on top of the world with his game, taking things in life for granted, i.e. tossing the purse he won on his dresser, a mere 4k plus in the twenties, a loving wife, beautiful children and in a lovely house without a worry in the world.

The depression hits, bills unpaid, no work, feeling despair and the world on his shoulders to provide just milk for his family. Milk. Letting go of his pride and ego and turning to his former trainer and manager to ask for money to be able to turn his utilities on. However, Braddock had the fight in him not just from his boxing career that God had blessed him with but also the fight in him not to let his family down.

Quite a parallel story of those that are or were in active addiction. You have it all one day, take it for granted, hit rock bottom and wonder if you have a fighting chance...

I wasn't sure if I had it in me, but by the Grace of God I found my fight and pulled myself up from depression and let go of my pride and ego and accepted that it was time to ask for help. The disease of addiction doesn't win, just like Braddock didn't let the hard times win. He fought long and hard and built himself back to what he used to be. Addiction is able to win because YOU are not ready to win, fight and defeat.

Humility. A fight to win again, to beat the odds. Something that everyone else doesn't believe that will ever happen again. Lost hope. That is what I took from the movie. The reporters asked Braddock "why do you want to win this fight?" and he replied, "Milk". Milk to put on the table for his family. I took everything that God had so graciously blessed me with for granted, and in saying that I lost everything in my life just as he did; my house, all belongings, my once children, a failed marriage, relationship with my parents...all but my clothes. I thank God everyday for the roof over my head, the food in my refrigerator, the electricity I have, my job, family, friends and first and foremost my sobriety. Everyday.

You can tell how far a person will go in life by what they are willing to go without to become who they want to be. Godspeed

Self-Honesty...

The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. . . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17

While in active addiction I was a deceptive person to others as well as self-deceptive. From a much admired counselor, He told me I was "In Denial, and that did NOT mean In The Nile River." I can chuckle about the statement today, but did not then.

I think if we do not take from our past - the most painful, shameful, demeaning and humiliating times that were caused by our addiction/s or even those that have not faced addiction, but hide from their past, and embrace these, then we cannot complete the full complete circle of Self-Honesty. You cannot hide from your past...denial, because it will always find you. Whether that be tomorrow or twenty years down the road. Embracing these tumultuous time in our lives will make you become the person that God is yearning and paving the path for you to become. Embrace the past and the unfortunate times you have suffered because it will make you a better person for tomorrow.

If I did not embrace my past addictions and shameful, demeaning and humiliating times in my life, I would not be the lady that God works through every day today. I feel him embody me and ask him every morning to do so, in hopes that others will see that being honest with myself and not hiding from my past has made the lady that I am today and is making for him to do His Will and His Way tomorrow.

Embrace your past, be honest with yourself. You cannot hide, you are only cutting yourself short of being the man or woman that God wants you to become. The man or woman that he wants to work through and show others what God can do for them.

Today I can use this as a gift to help others. I want to love, smile, share and give back to others that are seeking what I have received. Godspeed.