Cinderella Man

The true story of an athlete who achieved his greatest success against the most daunting odds of his life is brought to the screen in this historical drama.

While conventional wisdom had it that Braddock was too old, out of shape, and out of practice to have any chance of winning, he defeated Griffin, and continued beating his opponents with a powerful left hook that had been intensified by years of punishing dock work. In a nation desperate for good news, Braddock's surprising comeback became a tonic to struggling workers and unemployed people, and all eyes were on Braddock when in 1935 he took on powerful heavyweight champion Max Baer in what was both literally and figuratively the fight of his life. ~ Mark Deming

Quite a sensational film, Braddock being on top of the world with his game, taking things in life for granted, i.e. tossing the purse he won on his dresser, a mere 4k plus in the twenties, a loving wife, beautiful children and in a lovely house without a worry in the world.

The depression hits, bills unpaid, no work, feeling despair and the world on his shoulders to provide just milk for his family. Milk. Letting go of his pride and ego and turning to his former trainer and manager to ask for money to be able to turn his utilities on. However, Braddock had the fight in him not just from his boxing career that God had blessed him with but also the fight in him not to let his family down.

Quite a parallel story of those that are or were in active addiction. You have it all one day, take it for granted, hit rock bottom and wonder if you have a fighting chance...

I wasn't sure if I had it in me, but by the Grace of God I found my fight and pulled myself up from depression and let go of my pride and ego and accepted that it was time to ask for help. The disease of addiction doesn't win, just like Braddock didn't let the hard times win. He fought long and hard and built himself back to what he used to be. Addiction is able to win because YOU are not ready to win, fight and defeat.

Humility. A fight to win again, to beat the odds. Something that everyone else doesn't believe that will ever happen again. Lost hope. That is what I took from the movie. The reporters asked Braddock "why do you want to win this fight?" and he replied, "Milk". Milk to put on the table for his family. I took everything that God had so graciously blessed me with for granted, and in saying that I lost everything in my life just as he did; my house, all belongings, my once children, a failed marriage, relationship with my parents...all but my clothes. I thank God everyday for the roof over my head, the food in my refrigerator, the electricity I have, my job, family, friends and first and foremost my sobriety. Everyday.

You can tell how far a person will go in life by what they are willing to go without to become who they want to be. Godspeed

Self-Honesty...

The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. . . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17

While in active addiction I was a deceptive person to others as well as self-deceptive. From a much admired counselor, He told me I was "In Denial, and that did NOT mean In The Nile River." I can chuckle about the statement today, but did not then.

I think if we do not take from our past - the most painful, shameful, demeaning and humiliating times that were caused by our addiction/s or even those that have not faced addiction, but hide from their past, and embrace these, then we cannot complete the full complete circle of Self-Honesty. You cannot hide from your past...denial, because it will always find you. Whether that be tomorrow or twenty years down the road. Embracing these tumultuous time in our lives will make you become the person that God is yearning and paving the path for you to become. Embrace the past and the unfortunate times you have suffered because it will make you a better person for tomorrow.

If I did not embrace my past addictions and shameful, demeaning and humiliating times in my life, I would not be the lady that God works through every day today. I feel him embody me and ask him every morning to do so, in hopes that others will see that being honest with myself and not hiding from my past has made the lady that I am today and is making for him to do His Will and His Way tomorrow.

Embrace your past, be honest with yourself. You cannot hide, you are only cutting yourself short of being the man or woman that God wants you to become. The man or woman that he wants to work through and show others what God can do for them.

Today I can use this as a gift to help others. I want to love, smile, share and give back to others that are seeking what I have received. Godspeed.

Undeniable Blessings

Unexpected Circumstances followed by Unusual Communication result in Undeniable Blessings.

We all have or had plans for the future, however these may not or may not have been in agreeance with God. My plans for my future was to excel in work, have a successful marriage and have a loving relationship with his children. I left a few things out. First and foremost, God, and because of the toxicity of my marriage, my own family.

Though I made the plans come to fruition, addiction snuck into my life and took it all away. I was not following God's plan, just my own.

Each morning and night I now ask God to help me to follow "His Will, not my will and His Way, not my way". He will, and did in my life, intervene and change your course/plans for the future...if you have chosen your way and not his.

You may have thought your plans or your life were what God wanted...but he will intervene and let you know when it isn't. I tried over and over to work on my marriage and my Recovery, failing each and every time. It was not until I asked God to lead my life and take it over...Let Go, Let God, is when God began to Communicate to me and began to bless my life.

While it would be nice to have someone tap you on the shoulder and let us know that the path we are taking is the wrong one, the path and or journey you will then take also will not happen overnight. You will be given and receive Communication from God, or your Higher Power. He will Communicate his purpose to you in unusual fashions if necessary.

My addictions were the unusual communication for me. Struggling, falling to me knees, never surrendering my power over to him...almost death.

He will turn us onto a path of his will and blessings. When you seek him with all of your heart, he will find you and bless you undeniably.

Unexpected Circumstances followed by Unusual Communication result in Undeniable Blessings. Godspeed

A "Limitless Lode"

Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insist on giving away the entire product. Alcoholics Anonymous Pages 128 & 129

You will never give birth to something that doesn't grow in you. Church and a relationship with God was embedded in me since a child, but it was not until I found recovery that I was ready and willing to have God work in me. When I found recovery I began to see a new life growing in front of me. It became a Purpose driven change. Something that is life changing you want to share. When you catch a vision you bring people with you, you share it. The joy in a change in your life that you can share what you once felt with the tears and the excitement of the new love in your life.

I was not accustomed to anything but chaos and self inflected wounds in my life. I remember waking up in my sober living house one morning and realized I was not afraid to wake up anymore. It was an "aha moment". I didn't realize I woke up in fear every day. I used to wake up every morning and would be afraid of what turmoil I would face in my toxic marriage. I didn't realize how much I lived in fear and chaos until I chose sober living. To wake every morning with a smile and to thank God for my fearless day and keeping me sober that day was the most uplifting feeling I had ever felt. I had become accustomed to fear now I began to become accustomed to love.

How can you take what God has done to in your life and spread it to others? I have been given a new life of love, recovery, sobriety and a passion to smile and to give back to others what I have received. What is your purpose? Share your passion.

A New Life

Wrong relationships will always lead you to turbulent times. When something is out of order in our lives it will create disorder. Take a look at your world and if there is drama and chaos in your life, guess who you may be choosing to get away from? God.

If you are amidst of peace that passeth understanding then you have God in your life. Remember the song we used to sing out of the hymnal at church? "I have the peace that passeth understanding down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart..." I certainly didn't understand the words that I was singing then but I do now. I want and crave for the peace that passeth understanding down in my heart.

We reach out to God when we cannot get out of the turmoil without God. I cannot save myself and I cannot fix this by myself. It takes courage to ask for God's help.

Getting out of loneliness, addiction, loss, turmoil, depression takes a Higher Power, which I choose to call God. When we as believers are not doing what God wants us to do, we then can create chaos and drama in our life and in the lives of our friends, loved ones and at work. How do you get out of this self created drama and turmoil?

Talk to God where you are. I talked to God when I was in active addiction, crying out to him. But what I didn't realize is that I was not ready to quit the chemical dependency just wanted the circumstances, the turmoil and the chaos out of my life without having to choose to turn over my addiction to God. I had to admit to God that I was powerless over my addiction and that my life had become unmanageable. Step One in AA.

God answered my cry of help when I was ready, when I was ready and willing. I was in the midst of Hell...literally with the Devil standing and guiding me. Think about that for a moment. I was allowing the Devil to take my hand and lead my life, turning my will and my ways over to him, not God.

I now pray everyday for God's will not my will and for God's way not my way. I have been to the deepest darkest places of them, Hell... and never want to go back.There are those that never face that and be thankful that you have been strong enough and your relationship with God has protected you. I now picture my hand in God's hand with his flowing white robe leading me into my day, turning everything in my life over to him and for him to lead me in his will and his way. A picture I embrace deeply.

You may cry out from your belly of addiction, shame, regret, remorse or failure. You cannot save yourself and cannot get yourself out of this, only God can. Worship and pray to God even if you don't feel it. Fake it Till you Make It...There is nothing that can change your life other than God.

Keep your promise. Misery comes with conflict when you do not keep your promise. I am going to fulfill my promises not to just God but also to my family, my job, my friends, and reaching out to others. We have all made promises that we have not kept.. I promise to love, to cherish, and to give. You cannot change your past but can start today by fulfilling your promises that you have made today. You can reconcile your promises, to your friends to your family, apologize for the things you have done.

You will Pay the price of loneliness, addiction, loss, turmoil and depression by silencing the voice of God. Listen, for He will speak to you.

Godspeed.