A Look Backward

First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 77

As a traveler on a fresh and exciting A.A. journey of recovery, I experienced a new found peace of mind and the horizon appeared clear and bright, rather than obscure and dim. Reviewing my life to discover where I had been at fault seemed to be such an arduous and dangerous task. It was painful to pause and look backward. I was afraid I might stumble! Couldn't I put the past out of my mind and just live in my new golden present? I realized that those in the past whom I had harmed stood between me and my desire to continue my movement toward serenity. I had to ask for courage to face those persons from my life who still lived in my conscience, to recognize and deal with the guilt that their presence produced in me. I had to look at the damage I had done, and become willing to make amends. Only then could my journey of the spirit resume. DAILY REFLECTIONS

There is quite a healing place that I owe my Recovery to in Navarre, Florida. I awoke each morning to a sunrise and each evening to a sunset in the bay, somewhat mystical. The pallet of the water cleansing my soul, mind and body to anew.

It is easy to wish or wash away your past regrets, in hopes of them not finding you again. In the end they always do. I was able to make amends to a few friends this past week and oh how it cleansed my soul. The shame, embarrassement and guilt of what I had done was an ill-fated reminder of my past and the pain I had caused. It will take time to heal and I do not ask anything from them in return, however I do ask God for forgiveness and a clear conscience. Godspeed.