If some of us only just tried. I now know friends that are trying and some that aren't. Some that have failed and began again. And then I know some that gave up trying and are dead. It is a continuous process. That is why we say we are in Recovery. If you were diagnosed with cancer, you would take every step and medication the doctor had advised to be in Recovery. We are the same way. The disease of Addiction. We have a process to follow and if we don't, most of us fall out of Recovery and eventually die. Just the same for cancer patients. If you do not follow the doctors orders, you will not begin the process of Recovery and will eventually die.
Those of use from Enterprise, Al. has lost a beautiful lady to cancer, Vicky Milam Harris that graduated from with me from Enterprise High School in 1992. She left behind a loving husband, Richard Harris and her son, Ritchey Harris, and of course her close friends and family. It has been only four days and when I pray for her and her family I could feel her presence and that beautiful smile of positive energy that she radiated...I posted this almost a year ago and the first comment is from Vicky about her Cancer. Listen to her words and her positive outlook on life. For some of us are not that fortunate. She turned her disease into a blessing to let others see that no matter what she had, she would live life Happy, Joyous and Free.
Donations are to the American Cancer Society- c/o Linda Andress PO Box 310900. Enterprise 36331.
I had it minute to minute Friday. My demons were all around me and it didn't matter what I did they wanted me down. This past week was joyous and filled with blessings from God. I was in constant contact with him every day, all day. And Friday it was though I was surrounded by a dark cloud and couldn't get away from it no matter how hard I prayed.
I know God gives us tests, test our strength. I don't hate many things but I do hate addiction. I hate how it is like a snake and sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Trying to suffocate the good and the blessing filled journey God has taken you down.
I hate being an addict. It makes me feel like such an outsider at times. Not able to go here or there or hang out at places because I do not know my limits or limitations in a new place and new people. I have been made fun of because I stay at home a lot...but I know what can happen in these four walls I sit in. Nothing. Nothing to risk my sobriety and my life. Being made fun of makes me feel like I am back in junior high and being picked on. Recovery is not easy all of the time. But it has been the best days of my life and some of the hardest ones ever. I would take this life over the life I lived in addiction, any day. Even days like Friday.
Walk a day in my shoes, a week, a month before you mock. All I can do is try, and I do. All day every day. Some days I have failed and some days I haven't. I just keep on trying. Godspeed.
8 comments:
Colette,
For some reason I was led to your blog page today. I admire you for your courage, honesty, but mostly your faith. Cancer led me to have the strongest faith I have ever had in my life. Your strength is tremendous and you are beautiful inside and out!!
Vicky (Milam) Harris =D
My admiration goes to you. Your strength and courage to continue to fight such a disease as cancer and continue to have a bright outlook on life makes my heart smile.
Hey Collette: "We can go on to the bitter ends...or find a new way to live". "We suffered from from a disease from which there is no known cure. It can, however, be arrested @ some point & recovery is then possible". You are never alone! Andy M.
You are right, thanks for the reminder.
Wow... amazing Colette.. Thank you for sharing your heart! I am so looking forward to meeting you!
Hi Colette. I really needed to read this. After 12 years of sobriety, and during the last year of that sobriety, not following the program, being held hostage in my apt for 4 hours (from a wacko I met on Plenty of Fish (be careful of those online dating services, there are many wackos out there), then getting involved in an emotionally abusive relationship, I started drinking again and have suffered 8 months of trying to get back in the program. I was in inpatient rehab 4 times in the past 8 months! I was so ashamed of falling off the wagon like this. Then on 08/13/12, I was in a blackout drunk and took a bunch of my prescription pills. I have no idea why I tried to commit suicide - I had no thoughts of it before I started drinking that day. If my boyfriend hadn't found me, I would have succeeded. They had to intubate me to keep my throat open, because there was a 90% chance my throat would close and I would've died. That scared the crap out of me. So I have swallowed my pride, became humble, and am now taking this like it's my first time sober. I have 2 1/2 weeks now. I am going to intense outpatient therapy, getting my meds adjusted (I also suffer from anxiety & depression), going to regular counseling and of course AA meetings every day. This disease can kill us if we don't do what we're told, even if we don't want to die. Thanks again for your inspirational blogs.
Sue Wraight (friends with Kim Reig)
I am so proud of you Sue. You are a fighter. Keep kicking it's ass! Prayers are with you. x
Thanks Myrick...wrong timing, but I am sure we could share some stories. I share what God puts in my heart and if it touches one person, then I have fulfilled his purpose. To give back what he and others have given to me...to show that there is a chance.
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