We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. Alcoholics Anonymous Pages 77 – 78
Blaming others for the problems in our life is easy to do. I have done this pretty much my entire life. Blaming others for your reaction, pointing out their faults. If I am angry about people, places and events that have happened in my life then I need to step back and see what and where was I to blame. Anger is self centered. It's not about what the other person has done to me or what I think they have done to me, it is for me to look at myself and figure out what I need to fix about myself.
I still can find amends that I need to make and when something of this nature occurs I do. Cleaning off my side of the street is my responsibility not others. How clean is yours? Have you made amends to those who have harmed you or that you have harmed? It produces peace and clarity in your life.
Today I ask for forgiveness to those that I have hurt, asking nothing back in return. Inner peace is my goal, my purpose and my destiny.
3 comments:
Dear Collette,
As u may know, I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 15 yrs old. I have been in numerouse rehab facilities and have shared many stories with drug and alcohol addicts. Very few facilities exist for just eating disorders so most of my experience has been in AA-sponsored therapeutic meetings and long-term treatment. I have had several near-death experiences and was able to starve myself down to 68lbs. If not for my family, I would be dead. My journey has been a long one. I am not cured but I am better. For me, it's about progression not perfection. I have come a long way and every day is a struggle, a choice, a conscious decision to put myself and my recovery first. Although my journey was detrimental in so many ways, I wouldn't change anything in my life. It took almost dying for me to learn to live...to live with myself, to learn to love my self, to recognize the strength of my self. I hurt a lot of people thru my selfish actions. I became someone I didn't recognize--a liar, a sneak, a cheat, a betrayer of trust and love. I had convinced myself that I didn't need anyone and isolation was my solitude. I was severely depressed and lacking self-worth. I abused the love given to me because it held no value...I had nothing to give back. For my actions...I am sorry. I am blame no one else, but myself.
I am now a better person because of my journey...a better friend, sister, daughter and now a wife. I emotionally invest in all my relationships. I never take for granted a kind word or simple gesture. I respect others and put judgment aside. I help when I can, hug when it's necessay and hold my family and friends in high regard. I like myself today. Thank you, Collette for sharing ur story. Through ur experience lost souls will recognize themselves and find their voice. Thank u for letting me share mine. Much love and admiration...
Karen edgeworth Mattson
Your words of that of encouragement that others will find to heal themselves. The disease of addiction is not just about drugs and alcohol, it is about food, no food, gambling, lying, pornography, etc...
Being a recovery addict has too taught me to love myself and love others unconditionally. My father has always thought very highly of you and we prayed for you as a family. We are very happy that you are on a path of recovery. Day by day, sometimes moment by moment is a struggle but God will always be there when you reach out to him.
I am so very proud of you sharing your recovery because it encourages me to stay sober as it will others. It takes a willingness to share your story and thought I was afraid two years ago to share mine, I felt God was asking me to.
Through the blog I have had so many reach out to me and talk to me about their addiction, their families addiction and just how a post encouraged them to make it through the day.
Yours did as well. Your inner peace is what will keep you going day by day and God beside you all the way. xx
Loving yourself takes a long time to do when you have abused yourself as you and I did, Karen. I used to hate looking in the mirror at myself and truly hated what I had become. Byron was shared a pivotal message with me.
A counselor as well. If you haven't go and read my post on November 14th 2010 about positive affirmations. xo
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