Honesty

Freedom from self-deception; trustworthiness in thought and action; sincerity in our desire to recover from alcoholism; willingness to admit a wrong fairness in all our dealing with others; refusal to sneak that first drink. - Alcoholics Anonymous

Honesty is much harder than it seems. With the disease of Addiction, dishonesty goes hand in hand. I would lie about the simplest things in life. What time I brushed my teeth, if I had gone to a store or not, if I had given the dog a bath. There were no reasons for these lies, they just came out of my mouth for no reason. I would wonder afterwards why I lied about some of them then I would not even realize I had lied with others. It is just part of the disease.

We become untrustworthy to ourselves and others. Deception was part of my daily life. Was I fooling anyone? Maybe in the beginning, but I am sure not after a time. I lost my friends and my family during active addiction.

It takes an enormous amount of courage to admit you are wrong in a situation. I am now learning to do this. How easy is it for us to put the blame on another and not look at how we may have affected the situation with deceit or by self-centered actions?

Honesty plays in all parts of our lives. Not only being honest with others, but ourselves. We have an innate power within ourselves to know what is right and what is wrong. Judging others, when we have not walked in their shoes...I am guilty of this. I try not to do this now, but would I want that person to have heard what I said about them and judging them without their input or side of the story?

Honesty is not a given, you have to work on it within yourself and with others. Thank you God for giving me freedom from my self-deception and help me to continue to grow in this process.