that certainly is not the case today. I have struggled continuously today. Continuously wanting to escape to a mind altering place that can or could only take me there with drugs.
I am a recovering addict. I seem to tend to want to turn to alcohol rather than drugs, however today was different. Prayer was after each thought, begging God to deliver this from my mind. I never liked pot, but saw a joint walking down the sidewalk with my dog and immediately thought about picking it up and taking it home with me to smoke. A local vagrant was a few feet away from it and as always, I spoke to him. If it probably was not for his presence there I would have turned around and picked it up. Unbelievable. On my way back to my place I randomly searched the sidewalk to find it, but to no avail. Now realizing that God was deterring me from a mistake.
This can seem to be an easy journey at times and hard as hell a second later. Thank you God for saving me today. Today my demons were all over me. The demons on my back, the Devil. It was minute by minute today and I am thankful today is coming to an end.
Today it was not about the journey. I wanted the destination today. The destination of full recovery and never having my demons in my head.
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